Monday, October 4, 2010

WAKING UP: CHAPTER FOUR

Don’t take morphine.  Yuck.  Take anything else they want to give you for pain but morphine WILL make you puke.  I have never hurled after surgery except for the one time I tried morphine.  Do not do it.

When I woke up, my leg was in a large, heavy post-surgical wrapping and I had it elevated as much as possible over my heart.  The sadists at the hospital would not let me eat until the next day, but I was ruthless in asking for sherbet and water and whatever other liquids they would allow me.  When the time came, I was asked if I wanted a bed pan or if I wanted to try getting up to pee the first time.  Since I was going to have to do it at home anyway, I couldn't be a wimp.  I got up and showed them that I already knew how to use an assistive device, which is something they make everyone do before they’ll let you check out.  I found that it was best to practice going potty with a little supervision at first; nurses sometime have tricks that make it easier and that you can utilize at home, like propping your injured leg up on something while you sit on the toilet.  I went home the day after surgery because hospitals are notoriously stingy with pain meds, and once you are home you can make your own schedule and avoid prolonging any visit from that old enemy, Pain. 

Once I was home and had changed into my pj’s, I suddenly become aware that the surgical team had coated my entire leg in a thick yellow sticky substance that did NOT want to wash off easily.  This is what the 91% rubbing alcohol was for, as that is the only thing I have found that works.  I had to scrub from my crotch to the top of my cast with a nice, clean, sacrificial washcloth, as this ick does not wash out of anything.

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